Why, my soul, are you downcast? Why so disturbed within me?
(Ps. 43:5)
Father, I feel like a leper in a world of healthy people. I am alone, and I choose aloneness over the threat of judgment and more shame. Please keep people like Job's friends far from me. I'm not a project to be fixed, a riddle to be solved, or a waif to be pitied. Who can possibly understand what it feels like to be me? Who will meet me in this pain?
Only you, my God, only you can.
I'm sorry that I cannot run to you, Father. I have no strength and little will. The best I can do is to collapse on Jesus. So I fall on the One who took my place and bore my shame.
Meet me here, Father, and pour your mercy upon me. For Jesus' sake, I make my plea. Amen.
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