But this is not because I am deliberately turning my back on you.
It is because of the inconstancy of my mind.
I weaken in my intention to give my whole soul to you.
I fall back into thinking of myself as my own master.
But when I wander from you, my life becomes a burden,
and within me I find nothing but darkness and wretchedness, fear and anxiety.
So I come back to you, and confess that I have sinned against you.
And I know you will forgive me."
... a prayer of Aelred of Rievaulx, English monk (1110-1167)
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